Who Ya Gonna Call.
We all know kids say the darnedest things. In fact, there have been many television shows that are based on that subject alone. Life with Sandler is like living a combination of one of those episodes paired with “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” (only in our case, getting chocolate milk). I often wonder what could possibly be going on in his mind to generate some of the questions he asks.
Because of our numerous obligations, we spend a lot of time in the car. Instead of listening to music or podcasts, the mic gets turned over to Sandler. It is his “air-time” to address his pressing subjects. Such conversations are really interesting on Monday mornings in particular. We happen to win the lucky lottery of having our speech therapy appointment every Monday at eight o’clock in the morning clear across town. After jamming in countless hours of skateboarding and non-stop action over the weekend, I never quite know how the first morning of the week will fair on the road trips to therapy. However, it is inevitable that Sandler, no matter what mood he is in, will have endless things to go over; challenging my reflection on life.
This morning is the perfect example of why we should be recording the dialog that takes place in the car at all times. After suffering major separation anxiety—following the goodbye to his sister as she went off to camp yesterday—Sandler had a severe case of the Monday’s. He was practically sleep walking through the process of our morning routine. As he rolled into the car, he yelled some expletives in regard to having to go to speech. It is amazing how clear his speech is when he is using profanity in contest to therapy. Once he had his emotional outburst—and a few swigs of his morning jolt (chocolate milk)—the debriefing began.
He hit me with a few warmup questions like,
“Mommy, do you think it would be ‘sick’ if I got a job and made some money?”
“Should I not talk to people on the phone while you’re ‘dwiving,’ since you yell a lot of bad words?”
Both questions I could answer simply with a yes. Then he asked a question that made me laugh; I was at a loss for words.
“Mommy, if you go to jail, should I call Ben (his skate coach) and have him come pick me up so that he can take me skateboarding?”
I explained that I have no intention of going to jail, but that it was responsible of him to have that figured out just in case. I then fired back with the question of who should I call if I do go to jail? His answer was simple yet profound,
“Mommy, you shouldn’t be naughty and go to jail because I will be busy skateboarding and won’t come get you.”
Once again I was reminded of how self-centered children are, and it is in my best interest to stay out of the slammer. Sandler will be busy and it would be a waist of my one phone call.
- Nikki