Distance Learning

When I first heard schools were implementing “distance learning” during the pandemic, I wondered how that was going to look in our household. Being that both Sandler and Bootsie are in special ed—not to mention I do not have the patience or ability to help them with their homework on an average day—I could not imagine teaching them on top of the other obligatory adjustments. I was glad it took some time before their online class was up and running.

During the first couple Zoom meetings the students got used to seeing one another on the computer and spent the majority of the sessions saying hello to their peers and teacher. It was equally endearing and entertaining to see the dynamic of the class coming together online in the comfort of our own home. As I sat in the other room listening to them catch up, blurt things out and ask random questions, I laughed to myself and reflected on how much whiskey their teacher was going to need to pour in her coffee every morning for the rest of this school year.

Just as the virtual classroom has become part of our daily routine, so have homework assignments and watching the news. I made an agreement with Sandler to pick out news clips not covering the virus, and I found an interesting report about outer space. Instead of a nice little summary in regard to the scientific discovery, he approached me and asked if “Uranus” is a bad word. As the less than proud mother I was, I shook my head and explained as long as one is referring to the planet, it is fine. Then I quickly redirected him so he did not ask for more information on what was to be my makeshift course on science and anatomy.

Moving onto the next homework assignment: “Describe How Your Grandparents Met.” I heard Sandler and his sister debating. Once it started to get a little contentious I decided to step in and see what they were fighting about. The argument was in regard to if my parents classified as grandparents. Being that we refer to one as “Poppy” (not Grandpa), and the other (my mother) is not alive, caused some confusion for Sandler. Again, I had a good laugh and thought it was a nice family history lesson and explained, "Yes, a long time ago Poppy met Gramma Amy in Miami while attending college. They got married and had Uncle Robbie and me… so that makes them your grandparents." The air of confusion seemed to clear, and Sandler completed his assignment which read:

“Poppy met grandma Amy in 'your ami' and had my mommy and 'unwell robbie' then amy was dead.”

Apparently, this is what distance learning looks like in our house. Between questions about Uranus, the history of our family tree—including “your ami” (more commonly known as Miami) and “unwell robbie” (more often referred to as Uncle Robbie)—I may be pouring myself many a Mai Tai (probably known to Sandler as a “Your Tai”) before 10am every morning for the rest of this quarantine. My hat goes off to all the teachers and parents who have the patience to teach and homeschool these little creatures during these trying times. Stay safe and stay sane.

- Nikki

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