Bowling for Sandler.

Most of us were taught never to judge a book by its cover and to treat others how you wish to be treated. If only both were so easy to implement and live by. Unfortunately, many of us are guilty of judging quickly or simply not having the patience to apply such thought to situations. It is Sandler who not only reminds me of how important these qualities are to exercise, but also makes me pray those witnessing some of our moments are living by these good intentions as well.

Sandler is a very expressive young man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Although unreserved and authentic with his feelings, it can be quite awkward (as his mom) to bear witness to the public’s misinterpretation of his emotional outbursts. When a child has a visible disability there is a bit more leniency for such exciting behavior. In our case, where he looks like a ‘typical’ kid, those around us are less forgiving. I tend to receive the common look of, “Nice parenting, lady...”

Recently, Sandler was having an incredible day skating with a group of buddies. He was included, accepted, and part of the crew. He was having the time of his life. As the little rippers enjoyed their session, a few of us parents gathered around discussing parental topics such as: kids respecting adults. I felt proud to consider myself a parent who raised children with good manners and respect, not just for adults, but all people. I felt like I was having my own moment of fitting in with the crowd.

Then came time to say our good-byes and call it a day. As the other kids politely said, “Farewell,” I noticed Sandler starting to amp up his skating. He strategically did so in the depths of the bowl where he knew I could not retrieve him. He did not want to leave his buddies. With his pure determination he would stop at nothing to stay and skate with them. I knew right then my pride in being the mom who had just been sharing bragging rights of raising well-mannered children was going to be crushed. With some assistance, Sandler surfaced and I asked that he say thank you and good-bye. A request that was not even remotely well received.

As he yelled some very explicit verbiage in my direction to contest the departure, I was left standing there with a familiar look on my face. I was hoping to convey our dynamic has more than what meets the eye.  I am always grateful when I feel the onlookers are somewhat understanding. Every day I try my best to pay it forward, never assume to know, or judge someone’s circumstances.

- Nikki