Black Lives Matter
Once things started opening up in California, we decided to take a little vacation and head south. Since an hour seems like eternity in the car with Sandler, our road trips typically end in South County—which suits our vacation needs just fine—being that it’s the Mecca of skateparks. As much as our trip was a chance to roll around on missed cement, it was also an opportunity to enjoy a little break from the overwhelming stress of the last couple months.
We didn’t turn a on a tv, we limited our time on electronics and enjoyed some good old fashion skatepark poaching. After a couple days of being cut off from reality, I decided to scroll through my phone to read up on current events. Expecting to see Covid updates I was beyond confused to see every article and news editorial covering a story about a man named George Floyd. Like most of the world I was shocked, heartbroken, outraged and in absolute disbelief that something like this could happen. While trying to process the unfathomable event I couldn’t help but to wonder how I would explain this to my children.
As we drove home I tried to imagine how our conversation would go… how I would explain race to two special needs kids who genuinely don’t see or understand differences. I replayed Sandler asking me a little over a year ago what a ‘retard’ was and if he was one. Selfishly, I didn’t want to have to revisit or explain such an emotional and difficult subject ever again. I wanted to shelter them from the news and preserve their unawareness. But when everyone’s phones alerted our area that we had a curfew, my hope of averting the difficult topic was over. I spent the evening explaining what a curfew was—since that proved hard enough to understand, I waited until the following day to address why there was a curfew and what had happened.
The next day we were on our way to the skatepark and Sandler saw the first sign of a protest. It was time for me to link the details of the curfew with those demonstrating and tell him what was going on and why. I explained what had happened and he completely lost it. He burst into tears and kept asking, “Mommy… why didn’t they just put the man in jail? Why did they make him dead?” I assured him those were the questions most people have and why others feel angry and sad just as he does.
On the way home the protest had gained traction and one side of the street was lined with police in full riot gear and the other side with people carrying signs chanting “Black Lives Matter”. Extremely scared and emotional, Sandler was intrigued with the ongoings and tried his hardest to listen and understand what was happening. He heard what they were saying as, “Black Guys Matter” and was adamant I let him participate in the demonstration.
Though I appreciate him taking a stand and having so much passion, I felt he’d be safest and best understood hosting his own protest at home. As I described how some demonstrations can get volatile and dangerous we established some ground rules. Looting and rioting will not be tolerated but he is free to express himself and his outrage. He made a sign with a couple stick figures on a skateboard and has been yelling for over a week, “Black Guys Matter!”
He may not have his verbiage quite right—but his heart, soul, fundamental values and ethics are absolutely righteous and I couldn’t be more proud.
- Nikki