Beach Biscuits
Everyday Sandler wakes up and says, “I think today is going to be the best day in the whole wide wowld!,” and I always think to myself, “I want a cup of what he’s having.” Yesterday was no different. With his typical enthusiasm, he got himself dressed with his pants on backwards, t-shirt on inside out and completed the ensemble with his new, fancy Chucky socks. He was ready to take on the ‘best day ever’.
His dreams started coming true early in the day when we found a place to skateboard. His skate legs were back and he was landing old tricks, new tricks and had the crowd of two [me and his sister] going wild. After a couple hours of his skate demo, the novelty wore off and his sister and I were ready to go. Per usual, it took some serious bribing to talk Sandler into leaving, so I tempted him with a trip to the beach for some fun in the sun.
Normally, going to the beach is part of our daily routine—most of the sunbathers and seashore activities go unnoticed—and we just do our thing. Not yesterday. Sandler didn’t miss a thing. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that he’s almost 13, the trending style of thong bikinis or that we’ve been isolated for a couple of months, but he was aware of everything he could and couldn’t see. Sandler noticed and pointed out every single girl laying out and frolicking in the sand; he was in complete heaven.
I was very grateful to have the social distancing excuse to keep him from going up to the pretty gals and saying god knows what. The six feet rule, however, did not keep him from voicing his compliments. The first group of 20 somethings we past were listening to some music and soaking up the sun, when Sandler shuffled past and exclaimed, “Wow! You girls look ‘weally’ fit and clean!” I about tripped over my flip-flops in embarrassment and hurried him past the next few scantily clad groups of girls.
Once we found our spot away from the other beach goers, Sandler spread out his towel, laid down and said, “Mommy, the ladies on the beach today have ‘weally’ nice biscuits!” I spit my water out in laughter and wondered what the heck he meant by “biscuits”. Of course I had to inquire and ask what he was talking about. That’s when he said, “Their biscuits… the things bathing suits don’t cover.” Because I’m pretty proficient in speaking ‘Sandler’, I translated, “You mean their buns?”
Indeed that’s what he was talking about… all of the hot buns at the beach. No wonder every day is the best day ever for Sandler—he gets to skateboard and be surrounded by, what will now forever be known as, hot beach biscuits.